Pregnancy Mythology

Monday, July 3rd, 2017

pregnant woman

Me at 38 weeks!

We live in a time where information and ideas are constantly pushed onto us.  We naturally adopt many of these things as truths and in turn they shape and effect our thoughts and feelings.  Pregnancy and birth are two subjects that this particular notion is extremely effected by.  I know that I had all kinds of preconceived notions that I’d picked up from here and there regarding pregnancy.  Some of them turned out to be true, some not.  I found myself mostly feeling like I was some kind of weirdo because of how much I didn’t enjoy being pregnant.  Women are supposed to be happy and glowing when they’re pregnant….and I just hated every new surprise ailment or limitation that kept presenting itself….frustrated that I couldn’t sit in the bath for long periods of time or be comfortable sleeping through my last nights without caring for a child.  Small thing, minor things, but nonetheless ever present and spreading throughout every aspect of my life.

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‘Simple’ guide to changing your name after marriage

Wednesday, June 28th, 2017

image of wedding ring being put on spouse's finger

To have and to hold… and to take thy last name?

To all of the newlyweds who have taken their spouse’s last name, here is a ‘simple’ guide to help you through the process.  You will need to do items #1 through #3 in order.  After you receive your new driver’s license in the mail, you will be able to change nearly everything else.  Don’t let the process deter you from making the name change – if that is something you actually want to do.  Nearly half of my married friends have kept their maiden names, but I guess I am just old-fashioned.

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From San Francisco to Santa Teresa

Friday, June 2nd, 2017

small plane to Tambor

Puddle jumper to Tambor

2 weeks ago Drew, Haven and I got on a plane and headed south on a flight to San Jose, Costa.  This day had been years in the making and we were finally doing it.  Taking a break from the city life, the hustle and bustle of an urban lifestyle to reconnect, focus on our family, and decide what path our lives should take next.  I know it sounds dramatic, it definitely feels that way.  But we had been actively planning on doing this since November – what would we do if it actually became possible? Leave immediately for Costa Rica, of course.

So, we did. We are back, once again,  to the place that has become our happy place and home away from home – Playa Santa Teresa, Costa Rica.  Drew has been coming here for 12 years, me for 7, we were married here and Haven’s first plane ride was to come back here.  Last November we actually bought 2 acres on the mountain in town.  This is home, or will be someday soon.

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What’s the Meaning of Your Moon Flow

Sunday, May 21st, 2017

photo by: Jake Hills

Do you ever hear women reference their period/menstrual cycle to their moon flow?

I didn’t understand the connection so I recently started navigating the magic of my inner world by diving deeper into the cycles of my menstruation. For starters, I discovered that the terms “menstruation” and “menses” are derived from Latin (month), which in turn relates to the Greek mene (moon) and to the roots of the English words month and moon.

It’s amazing that we didn’t learn any of this when we were younger so hopefully this is helpful to you and others in your life. I remember in elementary school, the PE teacher separated the boys and girls to have a “talk”. In the girls room, they discussed the physical process of ovulation and that we should be prepared to bleed and be moody during that “time of the month”. PMSing has been seen as women being bitchy and has held this negative connotation. As young women, we accepted it and didn’t dig deeper into the power of our cycle (moon flow). Like others, I feel I was deprived the knowledge of how magical our bodies really are.

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Bride Mantra – No One Gives a Fuck!

Tuesday, May 9th, 2017

groom + bride with middle finger up

The Dewars don’t give a fuck

As a recent bride, I am absolutely thrilled to be done talking about wedding stuff.  My brand new husband is even happier.  He is no longer forced to listen as I ask him about the tables, candles, escort cards, seating charts, etc.  Wedding planning can really make you go crazy.  There are so many decisions to make, and there is so much pressure for perfection.  It can leave even the most laid back brides feeling frazzled. (more…)



Terrible Two’s…and Adult Conflict

Monday, May 8th, 2017

Toddler in the jungle

Sassy Haven

My daughter is two and a half and beginning to experience her new found independence as a tiny human.  There are days when everything is so easy – she’s agreeable, follows directions, very happy. And, there are days when everything is a struggle – from putting on clothes, to eating, to emotional outbursts over me putting blueberries in her oatmeal.  It’s tough not to take it personally, but they are just toddlers and they are just doing what every toddler does – testing the limits to see your reaction.  It’s how kids learn to operate in this world.  “If I do this, what will happen next?”  “Does mama respond the same way EVERY time I do this?”

There are probably zillions of child development books focused on behavior.  This dizzying array of advice is often contradictory, many times leaving you with more questions than when you set out.  When Haven was about a year old, I set out to find some gentle, effective methods for dealing with this burgeoning independence.  That’s when I discovered RIE (pronounced “wry”) and the basic idea that infants are whole, competent humans from birth and they should be treated with respect and trust.  It sounds straightforward and obvious enough, but once you start looking around you realize that many parents don’t do this and kids are often told to just “be quiet and don’t touch” or “big kids don’t cry”or are held from knowing the truth so as to not upset them.  These subtle messages can actually negatively shape a child’s psyche by telling them that their feelings don’t matter, or not to show emotion, or  even to be mistrustful.  Our goal is to help our children grow into confident, autonomous individuals!

In doing my research I discovered Janet Lansbury.  She has a blog with all kinds of advice on how to be an effective, loving caregiver to children of all ages, taking into account the developmental milestones at every age.  In addition she has written two books, which I HIGHLY recommend to parents both new and experienced – Elevating Child Care:  A Guide to Respectful Parenting and No Bad Kids:  Toddler Discipline Without Shame.  The former is targeted more for children under 1 year of age and the latter is for children over on year.

Here’s how Janet recommends you help a toddler through a tantrum.  In a calm, unemotional voice…

  1. Verbally acknowledge why the child is upset:  “I see you’re upset, you really want that toy.”
  2. Reiterate the way things have to be:  “You can’t have this toy right now”
  3. Console the child, if necessary:  Sometimes there are big emotions.  Offer some consolation “you’re so upset, take a deep breath”, hug the child and be gentle.  Let the emotions run their course.
  4. Carry on and/or offer an alternative:  “You can’t have that toy, but I have one of our yours here in my purse.”  or “I know you’re upset, we have to go home now” and follow through.

Every single time your toddler will experience the emotion and move on, trust me.  That’s the beauty of this method.  It may take longer sometimes than others, but it always works.  The key is acknowledging, consoling and then moving on.  The worst thing you can do is minimize the child’s feelings or make them embarrassed that they are emoting.  That will have long lasting negative effects for years to come.  Going through the process with allow your toddler to learn how to deal with emotions and understand that they won’t always get their way and they will survive!

Here’s the funny part.  The entire time I was reading this book, I’m thinking to myself, “Wow, this is a pretty effective method to deal with all kinds of adult conflict, not just toddlers!”  HAHAHAHAHA.  Shocking, I know.  I guess that’s an added benefit of the book as you can unlock how to deal with emotional toddlers AND emotional spouses all at once.  Efficiency at it’s best.  It’s funny how something that seems so glaringly obvious is sometimes difficult to remember and put into practice.  It’s something we can all do a better job at practicing and something that will definitely produce healthy, respectful relationships with spouses, children , and friends.



Goddesses Who Brunch: Pea Soup + Smoked Salmon Avo Toast

Sunday, April 9th, 2017

pea soup and avocado toast

Delicious, nutritious brunch

Creating a beautiful meal to feed to your family and friends is one of the most satisfying acts for the body and soul.  Finding a delicious recipe, sourcing yummy ingredients and taking the time to assemble them is a way for you to express your love and gratitude for the lucky recipients.  I recently invited my fellow goddesses over for a healthy and delicious brunch.  (more…)



Welcome to Goddess Guru

Friday, April 7th, 2017

Welcome to Goddess Guru.  A portal into what it means to be a goddess, woman, a mother, a spouse, a friend.  A person on this planet with something to give and something to learn from everyone and everything around us.  Goddess Guru is our way to connect with other like minded humans, seeking enrichment and knowledge for the body and soul.

Who are we?  Laura S, Paris, Laura D, JenniLu.  We are a collective of four women –  from different walks of life and at different points in of our lives.  These posts are the views of life through our eyes.  The good, the bad, the fun, the adventurous.  Each of us has a unique point of view and something to share with the world.  Our intention is to provide inspiration through food, travel, life, love, and friendship.   It’s an ever-changing journey of the mind and spirit.

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Hello, goddess.

Welcome to our portal into what it means to be a woman, a mother, a spouse, a friend. A Goddess. A person on this planet with something to give and something to learn from everyone and everything around us. We are a collective of women – from different walks of life and at different points in of our lives. Our intention is to provide inspiration through food, travel, life, love, and friendship. We welcome all goddesses to take a peek into our journey, and join our sisterhood.

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